he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
