I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
