Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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