Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
