I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
