We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
