she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
