Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
