I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
