Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
