He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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