I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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