I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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