Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
