he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
