I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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