I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
