I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
