Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
