I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
