dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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