It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
