Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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