Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
