No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
