in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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