More tranny stories later!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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