dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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