I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
