She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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