When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
