then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
