I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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