I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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