get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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