Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
