i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
