If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
