I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
