What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
