Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
