There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
