She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
