Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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