if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
