Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
