He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i will never coherently bang her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
