Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
