I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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