based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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