New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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